Got "E"? - having Empathy when your child is melting down

emotional intelligence Sep 15, 2020

When something, an event, or someone triggers a stressful situation for you and your child, finding the place in your heart and mind to be empathic may be one of the biggest challenges you will face.

That said, being empathetic in this moment may be one of your most powerful tools to regain control and enable a positive energy shift.

Empathy is given, not taken. It is a powerful emotion that derives from your own early childhood attachment with a loving parent or guardian. When it is said that empathy “can’t be taught”, it’s not really the case. It was “taught” to us by how our parents related to us in our earliest developmental stages, and it will be taught to your children as part of how you attach and relate today.   Empathy is like an automatic switch in your head that turns you into an “understander”, and subjugates your goals or objectives in the moment for those of another. A person that feels the real feelings of another in the brief instant of their joy, pain, stress, or anxiety, whether it’s an infant, a young child, or a life partner,  allows them to love you because of how you intuitively showed them that you really care.

How do you deal with situations that push you to your limits? Does your empathy switch automatically turn on when it is likely to best serve mutual needs? Are there alternatives to reactive behavior that you want to explore and develop as part of your parenting model? What are some of your challenges in allowing empathy to drive your thoughts and actions? What can you do to improve your chances of achieving this goal?

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